Quick, to the slutcave!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Rumble strips road head = magical
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
