We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
