Do vagina's smell?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
