YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
