I can't breathe out the right side of my face
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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