Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
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