some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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