So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You ruined the universe
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
