I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
