she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
