like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
