got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
