its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
