About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
