Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
