My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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