He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
