careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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