I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
