im about as happy as oj after his trial
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
