im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
