im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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