Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
