and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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