god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
