i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I am naked and annoyed.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
