Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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