WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
