Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
