In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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