i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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