i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I think people are normalizing furries
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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