I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
