Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
