I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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