Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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