we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
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