Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
