theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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