p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
