How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
