I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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