i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
