My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
