Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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