I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
