so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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