Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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