Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I got her a Nickelback box set.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
