The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
