): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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