sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
