She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
